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Abraham claimed the tape was a leak. But, technically speaking, this production could have been worse. It was even good enough to spawn a sequel, Farrah 2: Backdoor and More.

So there's that. Befitting its star, this is just out-and-out weird. He wears only a t-shirt never a good look for a guy , and the woman seems game for anything but kissing him.

The faraway stationary black-and-white photography works, for once, lending a surreal vibe to the proceedings. It's rigorously controlled, with annoying soundtrack cues, though that should surprise no one who has followed Kardashian's career.

In many ways this is the earliest glimpse into her ability to exploit her own bodily gifts for monolithic public attention.

She shows little interest in the sex, but defends the naturalness of her breasts to the camera and insists that Ray J record her "bling" all the way down to her feet.

She shows the slightest bit of humanity when Ray J shoots her unpacking, but it's quickly replaced by a smile.

Kardashian is a pro. Hogan's tape appears to be recorded by a security camera like some kind of voyeuristic Steven Soderbergh experiment.

You can't see much, but the surprisingly clear audio and subtitles suggest a gentlemanly encounter, ended by Hogan giving the woman a goodnight kiss and telling her, "You're awesome.

It doesn't hold a candle to her magnum opus with Tommy, but Pam as always is a master of the costume. Here she's wearing knee-high boots in a Stevie-Nicks-sex-goddess look.

You nearly forget Bret Michaels is in the room. Farrell lays on the charm thick, which might be annoying if he didn't do it so well.

He improvises increasingly inventive compliments for model Nicole Narain in his Irish lilt: "If a fucking camera could blush, this thing would be fucking red.

Bonus points for self-deprecating jokes about his crummy photography and pubic hair. This is the ur-celebrity sex tape, what you might call the Citizen Kane of famous people screwing, which ushered in the form's modern era.

There's little you can say about this video that hasn't already been said. So I'll say this: It's sweet. You actually feel badly that the marriage didn't work out.

Pam and Tommy were clearly in love during their honeymoon. They make the most of their locations—in front of a mansion, driving in a car, on a yacht, swimming in a lake—as well as the now-nostalgic analog video camera, including an artful zoom into the MAYHEM tattoo on Tommy's stomach.

They unironically call each other "lover" and show the appropriate level of bashfulness. There's even suspense when they almost hit a rock not a euphemism, a literal rock.

What you get is what you want from any movie: a journey. Emotional, uh, payoff. There are few moments in cinema as tender and sincere as when Pam says, "He's gotta get me through the rest of my life.

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